To my dearest students...on the eve of another Children's day...

Many times I've written to you in the past; either about me as a teacher or you as a student. Nowadays I don't see myself as a teacher or you as my students. This year is going on with a lot of other things other than French text books.

I teach you French and I make you learn, set question papers and correct the answer sheets. All these are just helping to learn a language or score well in your exams. In my heart of hearts, it doesn't mean anything great. But you, each one of you matters very much.

I know what a child is and when I look at your delicate faces, I can only throw away the trivial issues we have in class. For sure, I can say one thing: you, your parents and teachers, we are all mere puppets controlled by a system called education. Nothing is in our hands to choose. What they choose, we have to follow.

I wish we could interact more than learning and have some fun to melt the tension. The school is a park we all take a stroll for 8 hours with our friends, a place where we find some rest and solace. Exams are our only enemy, and that too one day becomes a habit.

Apart from academics, you and me, we have a life that we live. May be I am old enough to handle life or bold enough to ignore the issues. The more years I spend with you, the more I'm aware that many of you are handling a life, not knowing how to proceed. If I could teach you about life, if I could give you some guidance when you stand at cross roads, if I could take away the pain and stop your tears...

It breaks my heart when any child collapses when the burden of life is more than her strength. And I admire the way you bounce back and face life again. Your thoughts are so innocent and nobler than mine, and when my focus is to save you from the trouble, your focus will be to defend those who've hurt you. Your strong faith in God and His will make me your humble student. The hearts that aren't wicked or crooked, the love that forgives, the readiness to help...the list is long..but I learn from you every day.

I feel helpless when you're hurt and sad. I hate to see tears rolling or the effort that you take to hold it back. The frail bodies falling due to enormous weight on the head and heart, I wish you were courageous.

I'm not God to fix neither my problems nor yours. But I am totally sure that God can do anything and I have found that, that is the only thing I can do for you. If my presence or words ever soothed you, I thank God for that. At the same time, if I have increased your pain by my words or actions, I regret.

There is always something that goes on in the vehicle called life. But if you have the wisdom to take care of yourself, without hurting yourself with unnecessary thoughts and memories, you will go through life without breaking down. May the path be curved and narrow, or may it be an upward slope, or sometimes so rough with gutters. As long as we are inside the bus and if God drives it, why worry? 

Along the way I feel powerless before the syllabus and the score. All of you moulded in the same mould, leaving you no chance to even speak about your dreams, having no clue of what goes inside you, I feel as a failure as a teacher though I'm a good mark maker! I teach you only how your brain works, but not how to save your heart from hurts. 

Looking at you, teaching French is not my priority. The person called you, and the personality that you are, your thoughts, your views, your heartaches, your life matters much. But in the midst of all the classes and exams each one passes by without saying much. I get lost between the pressure of syllabus and my consciousness, without knowing whether to do justice to teaching or to help you to simplify life. French is just a pretext to be with you and to know you and to say at least a prayer for you. 

Between the mask of a teacher and the real desire of my heart, I hang without a way to do what my soul says. Even when I know that you have your reasons, I push you to do your best. I know the society and I know that you will cry more if you aren't equipped with at least basic education and discipline. I don't feel guilty, but surely feel inadequate to meet your needs. 

As you have, I too have limits. I'm trying to extend the way I can, but I wish I can be there in your needs, as a person to lift you up, a person you can share with, a love that can console you. Behind the veil of a teacher and a student, we have to admit that we need each other and we complement each other.

Tomorrow another day in school, exams, invigilation and evaluation...nothing is going to change the reality. Yet the fact that we are sailing in the same boat is comforting. May God help us to go through this journey and please remember that the teacher may fail to touch your life, but she is always your well wisher.

Though I am a teacher, I prefer to remain in my identity as a student who sat for hours on the bench, feeling the same as you feel now. I know what you are..at the end, an innocent life, who struggles and manages to bear the pressure of life.

Thanks for making me a teacher and a better human being. Even if I forget French, I won’t forget the lessons I learned from you..
Happy Children's Day!!

Thanks, with love, me...