A Tribute to a Great Teacher

In an age in which the roots of goodness and relationships are getting detached, I thank God for permitting me to witness the sweetness of a Teacher-Student relationship. 

My father was disheartened when he missed the chance to see his Guru on his 100th birthday celebrations which was held at Sanskrit College, Trivandrum.

That is when the news came that this year's Senior citizen sports meet is to be held in Bangalore, in which my father would participate.

My 82-year old father started preparing for the next chance to meet his Teacher. He got his Teacher's address and his son's phone number in Bangalore from the Principal of Sanskrit College, Trivandrum. 

Then, many a time during the long months of waiting, I heard in wonder, when my father spoke proudly and respectfully about his Guru, Mr. M.H. Shastri and about his classes. It was my father's wish that I accompany him when he visits that Great Personality.

While listening to all these anecdotes, I prayed that both Guru and Shishyan should be hale and healthy till their reunion. Finally, on February 27, both of us reached the Teacher's son, Mr. M.G. Mahadevan's house in Bangalore. Knowing that his Teacher was bed-ridden and that there was no chance to be recognised by him, my father approached his Teacher, just to see him and to receive his blessings.  Touching Guru’s feet with both his hands, he bowed down and stood in silent meditation for some time. The son supported his father as if he would for a small child to make him sit on the bed. The son and the student sat on his right and his left. In his mother-tongue, the son said, "Appa, yaaru vanthirukkiraanga paarungo. Thiruvananthapuram samskrutha collegile unga pazhaya student vanthirukkiraanga" (Father, see who has come. Your old student from Trivandrum Sanskrit College has come).

The moment when the Teacher looked at his student, lifting up his head with much difficulty, will always remain fresh in my memory. Holding his father who lives in the innocence of his second childhood, and gently rubbing his back, Mr Mahadevan had tears in his eyes. Equally, the fading phase of a Great Life clouded our hearts with an inexplicable sadness.

The Teacher could not sit for a long time. Mr. Mahadevan gently made his father lie down. "Sir, may I leave?" My father, who had never cried in his life, held his Guru's feet and stood there for a long time helplessly. Then, wiping his eyes, he saluted his Teacher and came out of the room. Watching the Student-Teacher meeting and parting, Mr Maha Devan, his wife and myself, we couldn't help our tears.

Later on, for about an hour, I listened like a little girl, to the endless stories about his great life, which his son and student shared in the drawing room. I understood that Guru is a Sanskrit Kingdom and when he passes away from this world, an Era will come to an end. The world which lost so many Great Legends still survives, thanks to the books that they wrote, which holds a small part of their knowledge.

Knowing that there is no further reunion, leaving his Teacher and climbing down the steps, the cold silence alone came along, together with some memories. I have not seen in anyone else, so much longing to meet a teacher and to receive his blessings. There is nothing to be surprised about Mr. P.S. John, who stands first in the hurdle race at the age of 82, to have crossed so many hurdles to meet his Teacher. I felt very proud of my father, who I always loved and respected. Also, I thought in wondrous admiration about the Great Guru who gained a place in his student's heart, which made him take all the trouble to come and meet his Teacher with such longing.

A few days ago when the student called me to inform about the death of his Guru, his voice was mixed with the feeling of loss. When I called Mr. Mahadevan to condole, his voice carried me once again to the Teacher’s room. Nothing remains there but a picture which I took as desired by my father: a photo of Guru, with his son and the student on either side.

I thank again God Almighty for that wonderful day which taught me, who is a student and also a teacher, the essence of Teacher-Student relationship.

My respects to the Great Teacher. With heartfelt pain, I bid adieu!

"Gurave namaha"!

ഗുരുവന്ദനം (A Tribute to a Great Teacher)

നന്മകളുടെയും ബന്ധങ്ങളുടെയും വേരുകള്‍ അറ്റുപോകുന്ന കാലത്തും ഒരു ഗുരു ശിഷ്യ ബന്ധത്തിന്റെ മാധുര്യമൂറുന്ന ചില നിമിഷങ്ങല്‍ക്കു സാക്ഷിയാകാന്‍ ദൈവം തന്ന അനുവാദത്തിനായി നന്ദി.

എം എച് ശാസ്ത്രി എന്ന തന്റെ ഗുരുവിനെ, തിരുവനന്തപുരം സംസ്കൃത കോളേജില്‍ നടന്ന  അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ നൂറാം പിറന്നാള്‍ ആക്ഹോഷവേളയില്‍ കാണാനുള്ള അവസ്സരം നഷ്ടപ്പെട്ടത് എന്റെ പിതാവിനെ വളരെയധികം സങ്കടപ്പെടുത്തി. അങ്ങനെയിരിക്കുമ്പോളാണ് അദ്ദേഹം പങ്കെടുക്കുന്ന,  ഇത്തവണത്തെ സീനിയര്‍ സിറ്റിസണ്‍ നാഷണല്‍ സ്പോര്‍ട്സ് മീറ്റ്‌ ബംഗ്ലൂരിലാണെന്ന വാര്‍ത്തയറിഞ്ഞത്.

എണ്‍പത്തിരണ്ടുകാരനായ എന്റെ പിതാവ്, നൂറു വയസ്സുകാരനായ തന്റെ ഗുരുവിനെക്കാനാനുള്ള അടുത്ത അവസ്സരത്തിനായി ഒരുക്കം ആരംഭിച്ചു. തിരുവനന്തപുരം സംസ്കൃത കോളജിലെ പ്രിന്സിപ്പളില്‍നിന്നും ഗുരുവിന്റെ  ബംഗ്ലൂരിലെ മേല്‍വിലാസവും, അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ മകന്റെ ഫോണ്‍ നമ്പരും കൈവശമാക്കി.

പിന്നീട് നീണ്ട മാസങ്ങളുടെ കാത്തിരുപ്പുവേളയില്‍ പലപ്രാവശ്യം എം എച് ശാസ്ത്രി എന്ന തന്റെ ഗുരുവിനെപ്പറ്റിയും, അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ ക്ലാസുകളെപ്പറ്റിയും, ബഹുമാനത്തോടെയും അഭിമാനത്തോടെയും എന്റെ പിതാവു പറയുന്നത് ഞാന്‍ വിസ്മയത്തോടെ കേട്ടു. എന്നെയും കൂട്ടി ആ മഹാവ്യക്തിയെ കാണാന്‍ പോകണമെന്നായിരുന്നു അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ ആഗ്രഹം. 

കഥയെല്ലാം കേട്ട ഞാന്‍, ഈ ഗുരു ശിഷ്യ സംഗമംവരെ രണ്ടുപേരുടെയും ആയുരാരോഗ്യത്തിനുവേണ്ടി പ്രാര്‍ഥിച്ചു. അങ്ങനെ ഞങ്ങള്‍ രണ്ടുപേരുംചേര്‍ന്ന് ഫെബ്രുവരി മാസം 27 -ആം തീയതി, ബംഗ്ലൂരില്‍, ഗുരുവിന്റെ മകന്‍ എം ജീ മഹാദേവന്റെ ഭവനത്തിലെത്തി. കിടപ്പിലാണെന്നും, തന്നെ തിരിച്ചറിയാന്‍ സാധ്യതയില്ലെന്നും അറിഞ്ഞിരുന്നെങ്ങിലും, ഒരുനോക്കു കാണുവാനും അനുഗ്രഹം വാങ്ങുവാനും വേണ്ടി ശിഷ്യന്‍ ഗുരുവിന്റെയടുത്തെത്തി. 

കിടക്കയിലായിരുന്ന ഗുരുവിന്റെ ശോഷിച്ച കാലുകള്‍ രണ്ടും തന്റെ രണ്ടു കൈകള്‍കൊണ്ടും തൊട്ട്, കുറച്ചുനേരം അനുഗ്രഹത്തിനായി ശിരസ്സുനമിച്ചു ധ്യാനനിരതനായി നിന്നു. ഒരു കൊച്ചു കുഞ്ഞിനെയെന്നവണ്ണം മകന്‍ അച്ഛനെ താങ്ങി കട്ടിലില്‍ ഇരുത്തി. മകനും ശിഷ്യനും ഇടത്തും വലത്തും ഇരുന്നു. ബ്രാഹ്മണ ഭാഷയില്‍ മകന്‍ പറഞ്ഞു "അപ്പാ, യാര്‍ വന്തിരുക്കിരാങ്ക പാരുങ്കോ. തിരുവനന്തപുരം സംസ്കൃത കോളജിലെ ഉങ്ക പഴയ സ്റ്റുഡന്റ്റ് വന്തിരുക്കിരാങ്ക". 

വളരെ വിഷമിച്ചു തലപൊക്കി, ഗുരു തന്റെ ശിഷ്യനെ നോക്കിയ നിമിഷം എന്നും എന്നും എന്റെ മനസ്സില്‍ മായാതെ നില്‍ക്കും. തന്റെ ചോദ്യങ്ങള്ക്കു ഒന്ന് രണ്ടു വാക്കുകളില്‍ ഉത്തരം നല്‍കി, രണ്ടാം ബാല്യത്തിന്റെ നിഷ്കളങ്കതയിലിരിക്കുന്ന പിതാവിനെ, ഒരു മകനെ എന്നപോലെ മാറോടു ചേര്‍ത്ത് പിടിച്ച്, പുറം തടവിക്കൊടുക്കുമ്പോള്‍ മഹാദേവന്‍ സാറിന്റെ കണ്ണുകള്‍ നനഞ്ഞു. ഒപ്പം ഒരു വലിയ ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ സായാഹ്നം ഞങ്ങളുടെ മനസ്സുകളും വിവരിക്കാനാവാത്ത ഒരു വിഷാദം കൊണ്ടു മൂടി. 

അധികസമയം ഗുരുവിനു ഇരിക്കാന്‍ കഴിഞ്ഞില്ല. മഹാദേവന്‍ സാര്‍ അച്ഛനെ താങ്ങി കിടത്തി. "സാറേ, ഞാന്‍ പൊയ്ക്കോട്ടേ?" ഒരിക്കലും കരയാത്ത എന്റെ പിതാവ്, ഗുരുവിന്റെ കാലുകള്‍ പിടിച്ച് നിസ്സഹായനായി കുറേനേരം നിന്നു. പിന്നീട്, ഒഴുകുന്ന കണ്ണുകള്‍ തുടച്ച്, ഗുരുവിനെ വന്ദിച്ച്, അദ്ദേഹം ആ മുറിയില്‍നിന്നും പുറത്തേക്കിറങ്ങി. ഗുരു ശിഷ്യ സംഗമവും വേര്‍പാടും കണ്ട് മഹാദേവന്‍ സാറും, സാറിന്റെ പത്നിയും, ഞാനും കരഞ്ഞുപോയി. 

പിന്നീട് സ്വീകരണമുറിയില്‍,  ഒരു മണിക്കൂറോളം ഞാന്‍ ഒരു കൊച്ചു കുട്ടിയെപ്പോലെ, മകന്റെയും, ശിഷ്യന്റെയും വാക്കുകളില്‍ക്കൂടി, പറഞ്ഞാലും പറഞ്ഞാലും തീരാത്ത ആ വലിയ ജീവിതത്തെപ്പറ്റി കേട്ടു. ഒരു സംസ്കൃത സാമ്രാജ്യമാണ്‌ ഗുരുവെന്നും, അദ്ദേഹം ഈ ഭൂമിയില്‍ നിന്നും പിരിഞ്ഞുപോകുമ്പോള്‍ നഷ്ടപ്പെടുന്നത് ഒരു യുഗമാണെന്നും എനിക്ക് മനസ്സിലായി. വലിയ വലിയ മഹാത്മാക്കളെ നഷ്ട്ടപ്പെട്ട ലോകം ഇന്നും നിലനില്‍കുന്നത്‌ അവര്‍ എഴുതിവെച്ച, അവരുടെ അറിവിന്റെ ഒരു ഭാഗം മാത്രം ഉള്‍ക്കൊള്ളുന്ന ചില പുസ്തകങ്ങളില്‍ക്കൂടി മാത്രമാണ്.

ഒരിക്കലും ഒരു കൂടിക്കാഴ്ചയ്ക്കു വഴിയില്ലെന്നറിഞ്ഞു ഗുരുവിനെ വിട്ടു പടിയിറങ്ങുമ്പോള്‍ മൌനം മാത്രം കൂട്ടുനിന്നു. ഒപ്പം, കുറെ ഓര്‍മകളും. ഒരു ഗുരുവിനെ ദര്‍ശിക്കാന്‍, അദ്ദേഹത്തിന്റെ അനുഗ്രഹം വാങ്ങാന്‍ ഇത്രയും വ്യഥ ഞാന്‍ ആരിലും കണ്ടിട്ടില്ല. എണ്‍പത്തിരണ്ടാം വയസ്സിലും ഹര്‍ഡില്‍സില്‍ ഒന്നാം സ്ഥാനത്തെത്തുന്ന പി എസ് ജോണ്‍, ഇത്രയും കടമ്പകള്‍ താണ്ടി ഗുരുസന്നിധിയിലെത്തിയത്തില്‍ അതിശയിക്കാനില്ല. എന്നും ബഹുമാനത്തോടെ ഞാന്‍ സ്നേഹിച്ചിരുന്ന എന്റെ പിതാവിനെപ്പറ്റി എനിക്ക് വളരെ വളരെ അഭിമാനം തോന്നി. ഒപ്പം, ഇത്രയും ത്യാഗം സഹിച്ചു കൊതിയോടെ വന്ന്‌ ഒരുനോക്കു കാണുവാന്‍ മാത്രം ശിഷ്യമനസ്സില്‍  ഇടം പിടിച്ച മഹാനായ ഗുരുവിനെപ്പറ്റി അത്ഭുതവും ആരാധനയും. 

ഗുരുവിന്റെ വേര്‍പാട് എന്നെ അറിയിക്കാന്‍ ഫോണില്‍ വിളിച്ച ശിഷ്യന്റെ ശബ്ദത്തില്‍ നഷ്ടബോധം കലങ്ങിയിട്ടുണ്ടായിരുന്നു. അനുശോചനം അറിയിക്കാന്‍ വിളിച്ചപ്പോള്‍ കേട്ട മഹാദേവന്‍ സാറിന്റെ ശബ്ദം എന്നെ ഒന്നുകൂടി ഗുരുസന്നിധിയിലെത്തിച്ചു . ഒന്നും ബാക്കിയില്ലാത്ത ആ മുറിയില്‍നിന്നും, പിതാവിന്റെ ആഗ്രഹപ്രകാരം ഞാന്‍ എടുത്ത ഒരു ചിത്രം മാത്രം ബാക്കി. മകന്റെയും ശിഷ്യന്റെയും നടുവിലിരിക്കുന്ന ഒരു മഹാത്മാവിന്റെ ഛായാപടം. 

ഒരു ശിഷയും ഗുരുവുമായ എന്നെ, ഗുരുശിഷ്യ ബന്ധത്തിന്റെ അന്തസത്ത പഠിപ്പിച്ചു തന്ന ആ നല്ല ദിവസ്സത്തിനായി    സര്‍വ്വേശ്വരനു വീണ്ടും നന്ദി.

മഹാനായ വലിയ ഗുരുവിന് വന്ദനം. വളരെയധികം വേദനയോടെ, വിട. "ഗുരവേ നമ:"

Dear kids, now I understand you better...

It’s been a few days since I planned to write to you, kids. Yes, my kids, your kids, and all kids. The only qualification that I possess to write this article is that I've two kids of my own and I live most of my time in the world of kids; yes, in a school.

I don’t know if I made a mistake by calling the school, the world of kids. But I am sure that kids are kids because they make their world wherever they get together.

Don’t you worry kids. This time ‘Kolavery’ is not towards you. I really took some time to think of you and tried to put my feet in your shoes. I failed. I am able to observe all of you, understand you a little bit, but surely I don’t want to be a kid like you.

A baby is a bundle of joy sent from Heaven above. So many visitors and so many gifts arrive in no time. So many people to care and so much of attention make a Baby World at homes. Everyone awaits impatiently the first look, the first smile, the first tooth, the first word, the first step, first Birthday, etc. Slowly, come the books filled with pictures, stories, songs and what not. Loving parents are already on the lookout for the most important ‘Seat’ for their kid; a seat in LKG.

The hunt for the best school starts. Though they are admitted in LKG, the XII results are consulted to assess the standard of the school. Again, the standard of the school comes from hard working students who study, mug-up and repeatedly prepare and write tests and bring laurels to their school.

Prior to LKG, is the dearest and costliest Play School (Pre-school). To get an admission in a good Play School, the child has to be smart. Smart parents make them learn English and GK and sometimes before reaching the portals of a Play School, they appear in the newspaper for their memory skills, known as ‘Child Prodigy’. Some kids are not allowed to spend time even with their grand-parents lest they learn their mother tongue and age-old stories. A huge shopping is done to get the best CDs of nursery rhymes and fairy tales. The kid is made to repeat everything like a parrot and asked to perform before any visitor (to get over stage fear!).

In addition to English and GK, there is an intensive potty training too. The best I liked about the potty training was a cassette which says, “Don’t tell your kid that it is shit, tell him that it is gold fish”!

The well trained kid enters the LKG after a year at Play School. You are really lucky if your kid has never cried to go to the LKG class. We can watch the slow degradation of health and spirit in a kid after joining the school. Though LKG and UKG stand for Lower and Upper Kindergarten (Children’s garden) most of the KGs are filled with thorny bushes and stony grounds which make the child suffer. With a heavy load of home work, the task of reading and writing A to Z, and 1 to 100 (in digits and in letters) is achieved in no time.

Clustered inside classrooms without being given enough of physical activities, many of them become gossip mongers and bullies. They discuss anything under the sun and bully others and get bullied by others. Those who do not belong to the category of kids who ‘love to learn’, their ‘Road to the Calvary’ starts there. It is not easy to deal with the pressure of learning and getting disciplined at that tender age.

Reaching home is no good news either. Some of them are sent to a tutor to do their homework. Exam time is hectic as they must revise the whole term portion and write it several times at home, before they perform it in the class.

In the journey towards dispelling ignorance, in most of the cases, what is lost is innocence. They look pale, tired and unhappy. They grow up through various standards year after year without knowing even the fundamental things they ought to know. They reach X STD with the blessing of ‘All Promotion’ rule of the Govt and sit in the class like scapegoats.

The intensive training starts for the X Board Exam. As they are taught only to follow rules and to obey orders, they wait for someone to announce a test or to make them do a work. They act like robots, which are operated and controlled by the elders. They go for morning and evening tuitions, spend 8 to 10 hours at school, and prepare for the daily cycle tests at nights. Those who distract themselves with TV and internet are caught and redirected to proper channel.

They take a break from stress in the XI STD as they are all big and smart enough to control their parents and to deal with the teachers who try to make them work. By the time they reach XII the scenario changes, fear grips them as they feel responsible for their life-changing Board Exam. The additional courses to train them for the entrance exams of various professional courses are also added to the daily routine. Grey hair, dry skin and headaches become common among these adolescents. Some would’ve become clients of counsellors or patients of psychiatrists.

Then comes the college, which many kids feel that it is worse than schools. Each college wants to create name and fame for discipline and results. But by this time the kid would’ve learnt all the loop holes to escape stress and find a way to their own happiness and enjoyment. Many times these kids choose dangerous risky paths and they don’t have anyone to help them out in crises. The most unfortunate ones break their wings, fall down and die. A few tears, a few prayers, soon they are out of many hearts that they thought they lived in. Most of the kids are victims of the pollution of this world and products of the systems that society has created.

I don’t write this article to blame anyone for anything. I just want to say here that no matter what you have become, there is still a responsibility in each one of you to do your best in each situation. Instead of blaming anyone, pick up the little goodness that you possess and develop it and acknowledge and appreciate the goodness in others. It is still possible to remove negativities of all kinds and bring back the joy of childhood. Kids, you can’t wait to be happy till the world changes for the better. Instead, if you learn to remain positive and happy, you can think of a possible way to improve the systems of society for the future generations. 

I wish the adults, especially the family members and teachers, are not too judgemental towards the kids and would help them out in their crises with love and empathy.

Keep smiling!

Annual Exam, your name is 'Horror' !

This morning, I overheard the following from my next-door neighbour’s house, where lives a small family with two naughty little boys. The elder one, studying in 2^nd standard, is struggling with his English book, a few hours before his annual exam. He recites loudly the spellings and meaning of the words from the text book.

He caught my attention when I heard him repeating, ‘d-a-u-g’ ‘h-t-e-r’, doctor. He did it many times and then went to the meaning of the word ‘princess’. He started, ‘Princess- the doctor of a king, Princess- the doctor of a king’.  After five repetitions the mother intervened, saying, ‘daactar illappa, dattar’ (not doctor, it is daughter). Now the poor boy was confused.

He started again ‘Princess- the dau..do...ctor of a king’. Being a teacher, I felt like giving him a hand, but kept myself away without meddling with our neighbour’s affairs.

The next minute I overheard a defeated voice, ‘Ennaala padikka mudiyilamma...ellame maranthu poguthu...schoolukku ponnaal ethume gnabagam varaathu...kulikkurathukkullaare ellaam maranthu pogum...enakku padikka pudikkala” (I can’t study, mother; I forget everything; when I go to school I don't recollect anything; by the time I take bath I will forget everything; I don’t like to study)

Mother replied, ‘padichaathaan periya aalaha mudiyum, kashttappattu padi’ (only if you study, you’ll become great; work hard).

‘Enakku periya aalaha vendaam’ (I don’t want to become great) and he closed the book.

Mother wasn’t happy. ‘summa book moodi thirandu vilayaadaathey. Ozhunnga ukkaanthirunthu padi’ (Simply don’t open and close the book and play. Study well)

Our guy loses his cool. His confidence drops and fear grips him. He wanted some distraction. He saw his little jobless brother sitting and playing. No books, no school, no exams for him! Unfair! So he decided to do something about this situation. He started disciplining the little brother. Annoyed by the Big Brother's nuisance, the younger one started reacting and in two minutes he screamed, ‘Amma, ivan enne tholla panran’ (mother, he’s disturbing me).

Mother came to the scene and shouted at our hero and comforted the younger one. What a heart break! I could feel the lad’s feelings. He became jealous and angry towards his younger brother and his bookless school-free life. He hated his books, school, exam, mother, and everything around him.

By the time the mother reached her kitchen, he again started bullying the little one.

The fight started and then I understood the origin of everyday fights and noises made by the new kids on the block. Our neighbourhood was a kid-free zone till the arrival of this new family next door.

By the time I started my car, our friend had finished his bath, put on his uniform and with his school bag and a long face, ready for his journey to school. Our eyes met and I didn’t dare smile at his sad face. I remained helpless, I thought of the one year old baby who’s on the other side of my house, and a few little babies in our street. All will start schooling in two or three years and then what will happen to our happy neighbourhood? I was worried.

On my way I was thinking about his day at school. His anger taken on someone, kids calling him a bully, teachers calling him naughty. I smelt the starting point of ‘making of a criminal’.

Indian Educational System, though it has got a special subject called ‘Value Education’, does nothing but damages all the basic in-born values of a child. It churns out criminals, cheats, and bullies. Except for the very few lucky ones, all the kids get affected negatively, losing many valuable assets in life for the sake of a Grade on the Report Card.

I didn’t get irritated when I heard the boys shouting, playing and fighting in the evening. My heart was filled with empathy which replaced my normal annoyance to the noise pollution that they both make. Apart from feeling sorry for the lad, I could only write this blog to show my concern towards his feelings, rather, feelings of any kid. I thought of my students studying at home and the tension and stress that causes in each family. Yet, I can only continue with my teaching, conducting tests, giving them home work.

Equally, I felt so happy today that my students reacted to my suggestion of ‘learning something other than the prescribed text’. Their spontaneous reaction was a frank and loud question, “Ma’m, why this kolavery?’

In spite of what cannot be changed in our system, if there is any possibility for kids to vent their feelings and laugh it out together, they’ll feel understood. That’s what kids need. Just someone to understand them. And through your gift of understanding, perhaps you can prevent a child from becoming a criminal!

Sail the Relation Ship with God, without letting it sink!

Relationships are considered as a blessing or as a curse depending on the events that happen among people and their reactions to them. Does a relationship exist without ‘if’ and ‘because’? I love or I hate because...I will love or I will hate if....I would / could have loved or hated if...

What is this: buying vegetables from the market? We will keep a dog for 15 years unconditionally but can’t keep a person for a day without conditions. Let us note one thing here. We are able to keep the dog not because we are good at loving it. The whole credit goes to the dog that can’t stop loving us, which tolerates anything that we say or do and still wags its tail in love and forgiveness.

Unfortunately we can’t find people with the good qualities of a dog, though we call each other that name for no good reason. So, when it comes to people, our love and tolerance matter as much as the other’s ability to be lovable and kind.

Do we love anyone without a reason? And, do we still continue loving that person if he/she fails to satisfy that reason? Should love be a bargain or business?

Though we come to this world alone, we are born into some relationships and then make a few more of our choice. In the end we may or may not have any of these people in our lives and we leave this world we are alone, without carrying anyone along with us.

In life’s journey, some relationships fulfil a need and some make us happy. Human beings have a tendency to push away the relationships when they don’t get what they want out of them. Parents are forgotten when friends come in, friends are forgotten when the lover comes in. Parents are remembered when it comes to conducting the wedding and settling down our lives and to look after our children and again forgotten when they grow old. Siblings and friends are always welcome if they bring joy, companionship and they are anytime out of our life if they touch our ego or prove difficult to be with.

Finally, is there any relationship without a motive or personal intention? So can I conclude that ‘relationship’ is something that is tied to the other end of the rope that we hold, pulled and pushed or cut as we think and decide to suit our own convenience? When we brag that ‘I don’t need anyone in my life’ and that ‘I am big enough to take care of my life’, we can’t deny the fact that we have invited so many strangers into our Facebook account and call them ‘friends’! We console ourselves with the number of posts flowing into our pages as soon as we login and the thousands of ‘friends’ who are there on request.

We watch television and go for movies and become a part of any social network to listen to voices, see faces, and feel connected. The more we are involved in such activities the less we feel our solitude. The artificial world which we create looks more real than the real one and we keep on living in a sedative state, without being forced to maintain personal relationships.

Until a few years ago, there were no television sets or computer or cell phone or any social network. The only people who we knew were our parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, and a few friends. If we stayed away from each other, the only way of communication was through a letter, which would take at least three days to reach the destination. The only outing will be to a Church, a temple or a mosque and an occasional visit to a cinema. The only games were those we played together inside or outside the house; the only food was the one that was cooked at home. The only noises were those of a few people, a few domestic animals and the birds in the nature. There was silence more than sounds and distance more than closeness. Life was not crowded with people and events and we had a longing for others’ presence and company. To fulfil each of our needs we had to reach out to its source. We waited for our parents to come home so that we could talk to them and for our siblings to play with them. We waited for the newspaper boy, the milkman and the postman. We needed each other because there was no replacement for any of these people and without them our life would’ve been so empty and dry.

Today, any ‘Uncle’ or ‘Aunty’ can replace a parent, any friend or cousin replaces a sibling, a lover replaces a million people, relatives are replaced by social network connections. If nothing is available the electronic gadgets replace the whole world. And still, shamelessly, we use our parents for their money and all the things that we make them buy, for all the food that we want to eat, all the mess that we can make in our room where we are allowed to stay. We call it the ‘right’ of a kid and escape from our guilt. This ‘kid’ can grow to any age, but will still remain a ‘kid’ as far as responsibilities are concerned! We use many people to get things done and yet we don’t bother to maintain a good relationship with them.

We blame the other for our failures and live without regrets. At the end of our life most of us are lonely. When we reach our old age, where we can’t move around and are inactive, we see the other side of our life. At that time, if we were wise enough to maintain relationships we may be lucky to find a few loving people around. Otherwise, the only one thing which can keep us smiling and peaceful will be the bunch of memories of the past, memories of the moments of sharing love and care.

We invest the present for our future. If wise, we will invest our present in sowing seeds of love and gratitude and it will bring a plentiful harvest in the later stages of our life. To end your life without regrets we must live a life of love.

Each person is God’s gift and it is our responsibility to nurture a good relationship with everyone. Love enables us to overlook each other’s short comings and focus on the values that the other one possesses. Love doesn’t push the other one to fall and call a failure, but it gently pulls them back with the power of forgiveness and makes them feel needed.

Always remember that we are in others’ life because of their love which accommodates us. That knowledge will surely enable us to accommodate others in our life, with love.

Relationships are not at all decorations for celebrations. They are the gifts of love from God for our good. They should be maintained and kept well to decorate our lives and to fill our hearts with real love.

Love is proved when loved, not when being loved.

Great sailing!