To Captain, with Gratitude

 

(Dedicated to Dr Rajesh M Ramankutty, Cardiothoracic surgeon, Caritas Heart Institute, Kerala. My Papa got a new lease of  life through a bypass surgery and valve replacement when he was 87 yrs old. Through his constant encouragement and assurance, Papa participated in 3 state meets after his surgery winning Gold medals and also enjoys his other passion, agriculture. A kind-hearted , humble person who does his work, acknowledging that it is God who works through him. Thanks to his skills, Papa is still with us and celebrated his 90th birthday)

It was the greatest gamble of life

Trying to cross the bridge with Papa

I never knew if it was possible or right

So I set off to the shore to find help

 

There I found you who said yes

To give Papa a new lease of life

I trusted you because you trusted God

And there the journey to life began

 

As I neared the bridge I felt

A shiver and a quiver that chilled my spine

I was a misfit, with thousand worries

Lonely and lost, confused and scared

 

Captain said ‘yes’ and he took the boat

He said ‘Directions must come from above’

He moved ahead trusting God in each step

Focusing on life that was trusted in his hands

 

I panicked, I chocked, I collapsed

But Captain stood strong without shaking

He turned his back to my ignorance and fears

Because he was carrying Papa to life

 

Captain, I am so sorry to be a silly human

I gave in your hands my most precious gift on earth

I couldn’t afford to lose Papa

In the greatest gamble of life that I took

 

But believe me Captain

Without you, there was no life, no crossing of this bridge

Without you, there was no new lease of life to offer Papa

I remain ever grateful to you for sailing Papa to the shore of life

 

There are no words to thank you or say what my heart feels

To still have with me, my Papa, my Hero

May your rewards shower from Heaven

From the Master Healer who you serve.

 

Droplets on the sand

There is a roar in the silence of my depth

A million tear drops awaiting deliverance

All you hear could be sound and tunes

You see just my surface, the mask on my face.

 

Between the mountains and the seas

Was born this life, they called a River

Who am I who flows through lands

Touching and being touched along the way?

 

Neither the flood, nor the drought

A strong existence, a womb, a woman

Flowing across the borders and barriers

Yet, a story sinking into a whirlpool deep.

 

A pure drop that turns impure,

An insignificant being on Earth,

Is that me or is it you who made me fade

Covering my face with this floating froth?

 

I reached you to love, to nourish, to share

Just as I fed the trees, animals and birds                                                      

You came to me with unclean plans

You used , misused, abused my soul.

 

You dumped your dirt and trash in me

And called me dirty, useless, polluted

You looted my riches without a shame

And left me barren, dry, depressed.

 

I lost my laughter, lost my song

I lost my purpose, lost myself

Then came the rain to cheer me up

But nothing could bring back what I had lost.

 

Am I a loser? Is there life beyond this depth?

Yet to find my real destination

My water evaporates into nothing

And pours to me again from the distant skies.

 

I hear the sea calling, I see her waiting

I feel the touch of a mother’s hands

I cried and cried on her shoulders strong

Till I tasted in her, the salt of my tears.

 

When I turned back, I learnt the truth

I was a giver sent with life

To quench the thirst of million lives

Who you killed to serve your human greed.

 

Women waiting with their empty pots

To take the last drop from my breast

Monsters coming to dig me further

To create a pit for themselves to fall.

 

There’s no word to write my story

This song will go without a rhythm

Just like me who’s tossed and turned

To many identities that was never my choice.

 

I’m dying, I’m turning into dry land, a past

O Man, take a step, take a look, restore me now

Tomorrow you will need for sure, a river

By then, I mustn’t be a thing that you cannot reverse.

Duet 8

Rescue

 

It's not what we intend to give..

Rather what the other one receives from us..

Ignorant of what's given or taken..

Till we see life tickling us both to laugh..

Picture courtesy: Amit Agarwal

Duet 7

 

    

   Born without a cord

  

  Dreams are the children of 

                

                                                barren wombs..

                                                   Picture courtesy : Amit Agarwal

Mission of Love: Scribblings of a gardener

Ma!! That’s what I call my mother
The one who nursed and nurtured me
Ever young, ever loving, ever lasting
The reason of life, death and rebirth.

An amazing beauty in green, red and blue
She holds the riches in infinite measure
A giver, she gives and forgives the greedy
Who creates the misery for millions of needy

Man calls her names; continents, countries, states
And further my land, my house, my room
She gave him herself to be a free soul
But he confined himself to the shell of his own

A mother needs nothing, no sympathy she likes
She neither weeps when things go wrong
She lives and loves for she sustains lives
A river of kindness that feeds her kids

I was born in her womb, grew on her lap

I called her my Mother, I drank of her love

She gave me herself, where I could exist
And called me a name that her million kids dream

Gardener! That is my name
Heart of green! That is my home
I don’t dwell in the comfort of assets
Nor drown in the sad sea of regrets

I dare to dream my mother’s dream
To sow the tiny seeds of peace
I swim beyond the clouds and skies
To reap the harvest with a smile

I’m a gardener, I’ve well rooted friends
I prefer to toil and make my world
Of buds and blooms, birds and bees
Of whistling winds and whispering hues

I search her wisdom that they buried
Under the soil of their own homes
I get up and dig the dry lands of past
Amidst the ruins to find my fortune

When the sun kisses the earth
With a sweet song I fetch my tools
And when everything dies and nothing is left
I sing the same song to kill the chill gloom

When the world is hungry, my food fills a plate
My flowers brighten a face; my green lightens a space
I am the gardener with a mission to complete
I must get up, dig and plant a life now

When the world fights for peace with guns
When they kill their brothers to protect their lives
When everyone cries there’s no hope left
I go to my garden and plant a new life

From her soil I came, to her soil will I return
Between the two journeys let me plant life
I’m a gardener, I have to live
To leave the soft shade of the trees that I grow

I’m not a poet; but a gardener
Not unaffected by distress and damage
All I have is my time, a little or more
So let me dig now and plant a new life

Duet 6

Between two fears

 

This is where I sit

Though I don't like it much

There's beauty in company

As long as we stay far from each

other

Photo courtesy : Amit Agarwal

Duet 5

Real

Dark yet shining

Grim yet beautiful

Chill hearts are warm

looks tough but kind..

Picture courtesy: Amit Agarwal 

Duet 4

Wicked n wise

I have a world of my own

That I've made for myself

Somewhere between the rust and comfort

A hideout to treasure my laughter. 

Picture courtesy: Amit Agarwal

Duet 3

Lonely Universe

Entangled, entwined

Watching life from far

Fighting against chances and choices to reach it

The souls who found beauty in their own self

Being is fine, mingling is tough

Lest we lose the charming spark that we cherish in us..

Loners are fortunate

They wouldn't have lost them in the life's sea

But they are the ones who saw the whole universe in them..

Picture courtesy: Amit Agarwal

Duet 2

Pilgrims

I sprayed the dark sky with million stars, for you..

And found you scared in the dim light of an old lantern..

A prisoner to your own thoughts

Stuck in a space of emptiness..

Picture courtesy: Amit Agarwal

Duet 1

       Alive

    My branches dropped its green

    And dryness gripped its bones

    A skeleton of horror I was

    Glory lost..forgotten..

    Still strong for a lonely bird

    Or a reflection of a passerby

Picture courtesy: Amit Agarwal

Losing battle

A few years back one of my friends lost her mom. As we went to her house my friend repeatedly said 'My mom looked like Goddess Lakshmi, but see how she looks like now.' I looked at the lifeless body..there was nothing so attractive on her face to be 'good looking'. Rather I thought that she could never look like Goddess Lakshmi.
Perhaps my friend knew that her words were not enough to convince us. She went inside and brought a photograph of her Mom and with a loud cry, she handed it over to us. We passed it among us and when it came to my hand, I swallowed my shock. My friend was right. She looked like a Goddess. With her long hair and beautiful face, she looked stunning. I looked again to the lifeless body..the face was swollen and disfigured...there wasn't any hair on her head..As I stood in total disbelief, I had to accept the effect of cancer on a human being. No..I don't want to go to any detail of that sight as I can't even imagine the pain and agony caused when a human being suffers to the extend of losing everything that 'used to be' his or hers. There I saw the cruel face of cancer that disfigures a human face.
Last week I saw another lifeless body of another friend's mom. I heard my friend say how hard working and sacrificing her mom was and how she used to cook for everyone and took care of her children and grand children. Also that she was a great cook and how she used to bake cakes and that this was the only Christmas with no cakes.
I looked at the frail body wrapped in a silk sari. She was just 75, not the age to wither away into a thin being. I heard it again. She had cancer in the spine. Thank God she didn't lose her hair as she didn't undergo the procedure called chemotherapy. I felt so sad for her; a Mom who lived for her family, serving them happily till the end.
The best that I heard that day was this. Two of her children stay abroad. My friend asked her if she would like to see them, she answered after a pause 'No, I will see them in Heaven'
Too much pain for a losing battle!!