Sunday, 8 April 2012

Sail the Relation Ship with God, without letting it sink!

Relationships are considered as a blessing or as a curse depending on the events that happen among people and their reactions to them. Does a relationship exist without ‘if’ and ‘because’? I love or I hate because...I will love or I will hate if....I would / could have loved or hated if...
What is this: buying vegetables from the market? We will keep a dog for 15 years unconditionally but can’t keep a person for a day without conditions. Let us note one thing here. We are able to keep the dog not because we are good at loving it. The whole credit goes to the dog that can’t stop loving us, which tolerates anything that we say or do and still wags its tail in love and forgiveness.
Unfortunately we can’t find people with the good qualities of a dog, though we call each other that name for no good reason. So, when it comes to people, our love and tolerance matter as much as the other’s ability to be lovable and kind.
Do we love anyone without a reason? And, do we still continue loving that person if he/she fails to satisfy that reason? Should love be a bargain or business?
Though we come to this world alone, we are born into some relationships and then make a few more of our choice. In the end we may or may not have any of these people in our lives and we leave this world we are alone, without carrying anyone along with us.
In life’s journey, some relationships fulfil a need and some make us happy. Human beings have a tendency to push away the relationships when they don’t get what they want out of them. Parents are forgotten when friends come in, friends are forgotten when the lover comes in. Parents are remembered when it comes to conducting the wedding and settling down our lives and to look after our children and again forgotten when they grow old. Siblings and friends are always welcome if they bring joy, companionship and they are anytime out of our life if they touch our ego or prove difficult to be with.
Finally, is there any relationship without a motive or personal intention? So can I conclude that ‘relationship’ is something that is tied to the other end of the rope that we hold, pulled and pushed or cut as we think and decide to suit our own convenience? When we brag that ‘I don’t need anyone in my life’ and that ‘I am big enough to take care of my life’, we can’t deny the fact that we have invited so many strangers into our Facebook account and call them ‘friends’! We console ourselves with the number of posts flowing into our pages as soon as we login and the thousands of ‘friends’ who are there on request.
We watch television and go for movies and become a part of any social network to listen to voices, see faces, and feel connected. The more we are involved in such activities the less we feel our solitude. The artificial world which we create looks more real than the real one and we keep on living in a sedative state, without being forced to maintain personal relationships.
Until a few years ago, there were no television sets or computer or cell phone or any social network. The only people who we knew were our parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, and a few friends. If we stayed away from each other, the only way of communication was through a letter, which would take at least three days to reach the destination. The only outing will be to a Church, a temple or a mosque and an occasional visit to a cinema. The only games were those we played together inside or outside the house; the only food was the one that was cooked at home. The only noises were those of a few people, a few domestic animals and the birds in the nature. There was silence more than sounds and distance more than closeness. Life was not crowded with people and events and we had a longing for others’ presence and company. To fulfil each of our needs we had to reach out to its source. We waited for our parents to come home so that we could talk to them and for our siblings to play with them. We waited for the newspaper boy, the milkman and the postman. We needed each other because there was no replacement for any of these people and without them our life would’ve been so empty and dry.
Today, any ‘Uncle’ or ‘Aunty’ can replace a parent, any friend or cousin replaces a sibling, a lover replaces a million people, relatives are replaced by social network connections. If nothing is available the electronic gadgets replace the whole world. And still, shamelessly, we use our parents for their money and all the things that we make them buy, for all the food that we want to eat, all the mess that we can make in our room where we are allowed to stay. We call it the ‘right’ of a kid and escape from our guilt. This ‘kid’ can grow to any age, but will still remain a ‘kid’ as far as responsibilities are concerned! We use many people to get things done and yet we don’t bother to maintain a good relationship with them.
We blame the other for our failures and live without regrets. At the end of our life most of us are lonely. When we reach our old age, where we can’t move around and are inactive, we see the other side of our life. At that time, if we were wise enough to maintain relationships we may be lucky to find a few loving people around. Otherwise, the only one thing which can keep us smiling and peaceful will be the bunch of memories of the past, memories of the moments of sharing love and care.
We invest the present for our future. If wise, we will invest our present in sowing seeds of love and gratitude and it will bring a plentiful harvest in the later stages of our life. To end your life without regrets we must live a life of love.
Each person is God’s gift and it is our responsibility to nurture a good relationship with everyone. Love enables us to overlook each other’s short comings and focus on the values that the other one possesses. Love doesn’t push the other one to fall and call a failure, but it gently pulls them back with the power of forgiveness and makes them feel needed.
Always remember that we are in others’ life because of their love which accommodates us. That knowledge will surely enable us to accommodate others in our life, with love.
Relationships are not at all decorations for celebrations. They are the gifts of love from God for our good. They should be maintained and kept well to decorate our lives and to fill our hearts with real love.
Love is proved when loved, not when being loved.
Great sailing!

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