Relationships are considered as a
blessing or as a curse depending on the events that happen among people and their
reactions to them. Does a relationship exist without ‘if’ and ‘because’? I love
or I hate because...I will love or I will hate if....I would / could have loved
or hated if...
What is this: buying vegetables from
the market? We will keep a dog for 15 years unconditionally but can’t keep a
person for a day without conditions. Let us note one thing here. We are able to
keep the dog not because we are good at loving it. The whole credit goes to the
dog that can’t stop loving us, which tolerates anything that we say or do and still
wags its tail in love and forgiveness.
Unfortunately we can’t find people with
the good qualities of a dog, though we call each other that name for no good
reason. So, when it comes to people, our love and tolerance matter as much as
the other’s ability to be lovable and kind.
Do we love anyone without a reason? And,
do we still continue loving that person if he/she fails to satisfy that reason?
Should love be a bargain or business?
Though we come to this world alone, we
are born into some relationships and then make a few more of our choice. In the
end we may or may not have any of these people in our lives and we leave this
world we are alone, without carrying anyone along with us.
In life’s journey, some relationships fulfil
a need and some make us happy. Human beings have a tendency to push away the
relationships when they don’t get what they want out of them. Parents are
forgotten when friends come in, friends are forgotten when the lover comes in.
Parents are remembered when it comes to conducting the wedding and settling down
our lives and to look after our children and again forgotten when they grow old.
Siblings and friends are always welcome if they bring joy, companionship and
they are anytime out of our life if they touch our ego or prove difficult to be
with.
Finally, is there any relationship
without a motive or personal intention? So can I conclude that ‘relationship’ is
something that is tied to the other end of the rope that we hold, pulled and
pushed or cut as we think and decide to suit our own convenience? When we brag
that ‘I don’t need anyone in my life’ and that ‘I am big enough to take care of
my life’, we can’t deny the fact that we have invited so many strangers into
our Facebook account and call them ‘friends’! We console ourselves with the
number of posts flowing into our pages as soon as we login and the thousands of
‘friends’ who are there on request.
We watch television and go for movies
and become a part of any social network to listen to voices, see faces, and
feel connected. The more we are involved in such activities the less we feel
our solitude. The artificial world which we create looks more real than the
real one and we keep on living in a sedative state, without being forced to
maintain personal relationships.
Until a few years ago, there were no
television sets or computer or cell phone or any social network. The only people
who we knew were our parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, and a few
friends. If we stayed away from each other, the only way of communication was through
a letter, which would take at least three days to reach the destination. The
only outing will be to a Church, a temple or a mosque and an occasional visit
to a cinema. The only games were those we played together inside or outside the
house; the only food was the one that was cooked at home. The only noises were those
of a few people, a few domestic animals and the birds in the nature. There was
silence more than sounds and distance more than closeness. Life was not crowded
with people and events and we had a longing for others’ presence and company. To
fulfil each of our needs we had to reach out to its source. We waited for our
parents to come home so that we could talk to them and for our siblings to play
with them. We waited for the newspaper boy, the milkman and the postman. We
needed each other because there was no replacement for any of these people and
without them our life would’ve been so empty and dry.
Today, any ‘Uncle’ or ‘Aunty’ can
replace a parent, any friend or cousin replaces a sibling, a lover replaces a
million people, relatives are replaced by social network connections. If nothing
is available the electronic gadgets replace the whole world. And still, shamelessly,
we use our parents for their money and all the things that we make them buy,
for all the food that we want to eat, all the mess that we can make in our room
where we are allowed to stay. We call it the ‘right’ of a kid and escape from our
guilt. This ‘kid’ can grow to any age, but will still remain a ‘kid’ as far as
responsibilities are concerned! We use many people to get things done and yet we
don’t bother to maintain a good relationship with them.
We blame the other for our failures and
live without regrets. At the end of our life most of us are lonely. When we reach
our old age, where we can’t move around and are inactive, we see the other side
of our life. At that time, if we were wise enough to maintain relationships we
may be lucky to find a few loving people around. Otherwise, the only one thing which
can keep us smiling and peaceful will be the bunch of memories of the past, memories
of the moments of sharing love and care.
We invest the present for our future.
If wise, we will invest our present in sowing seeds of love and gratitude and
it will bring a plentiful harvest in the later stages of our life. To end your
life without regrets we must live a life of love.
Each person is God’s gift and it is our
responsibility to nurture a good relationship with everyone. Love enables us to
overlook each other’s short comings and focus on the values that the other one
possesses. Love doesn’t push the other one to fall and call a failure, but it
gently pulls them back with the power of forgiveness and makes them feel needed.
Always remember that we are in others’
life because of their love which accommodates us. That knowledge will surely
enable us to accommodate others in our life, with love.
Relationships are not at all decorations for celebrations. They are the gifts of love from God for our good. They
should be maintained and kept well to decorate our lives and to fill our hearts
with real love.
Love is proved when loved, not when
being loved.
Great sailing!
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