Inglish Vs English

I don't remember who taught me the letters of the English alphabet. Before I knew that I was learning, I had started it and it goes on till today. Looking back, I see an ocean, and when I look forward, I see the very same. So much I've learnt and so much I've to learn.

I owe my English knowledge to my schools and the English teachers and the English books that I had. My passion for English gained me a Master’s in the same. Still like most of the Keralites, I couldn't speak much in English as Keralites learn English, to read and write.

I remember one family member taking me to an exhibition, to explain about the product and I was dumb the whole day and he said he was ashamed of me! The biggest blow was when I spoke to a lady at WHO, Geneva where my husband used to work. Whatever she asked I nodded or said 'yes' and filled the blank with a stupid smile. At the end she asked my husband 'Doesn't she speak English?' To my shock, my husband replied, 'Of course! She has a master’s in English literature! I wished the earth would open and swallow me.

Then I got an American friend in Switzerland, with who I used to chat for hours about our babies and baby problems. The only pastime was to watch TV and CNN and M TV became my relief from boredom. Finally I learnt to speak French and English.

After 7 years in Swiss, we decided to settle down in Chennai. Chennai is a place where everyone speaks English and use mobile phones. Even vendors on the road side use English words in their common vocabulary. I had no big problem till I joined a school as a French teacher. My French was better than my English. I thought except Keralites, all could speak good English.

But when I listened, in all the words where we use 'O', Tamilians use 'A' and as I listened to people of every state, they all had one problem or the other when it comes to English pronunciation.

I was constantly laughed at as a 'Malayali' for my 'Malayali accent' and I thought I am the worst English speaker in Tamil Nadu. Then I noticed that they make another set of mistakes in English:  Xerox as Jerox, Zero as 'Jeero', and Paul as Pal etc. Malayalis pronounce them as Serox, Sero, and Pol. My greatest shock is the word Tamizh being pronounced as Taamil by the native speakers though they have a letter ‘zh’ in their alphabet. My confidence grew and I started taking precaution, not to make mistakes. My husband taught me that in the pronunciation of 'Almonds', 'l' is silent, it is not 'cope up with', but 'cope with', not 'mellow down', but 'mellow' and so many other things.

My kids used to laugh at the Malayali English accent and love to imitate and laugh. I had only one defence; a joke that I read somewhere. 'One day a Malayali was asking a Tamilian for 'OYIL'. The Tamilian didn't understand anything even after repeated hearing. Finally, when he got a clue, he asked 'AAyila?'. People from North India Espeaks about Espoon and Eschool.

I don't want to go to the details of it; but the fact is, to any native speaker of English, there is no Keralite or Tamilian or North Indian English. All they know that it is not any other English and they have named all the Indian accent and usage as 'Indian English'.

So my observation says, if you speak good English, you cannot survive in India. If you speak with any other accent in a different state, you are ridiculed. The best side of Indians is that, if they hear any foreign accent where nothing sounds like English, they say 'Wow!'  The worst thing is, if any Indian speaks like a native speaker, he will be most laughed at.

It is not the pronunciation, but the style that matters the most. Those who pretend that their English is the best put a false accent and get noticed as a good speaker. But why Indians laugh at other Indians for their Indian English? The result is, none of the Indians tried to learn the language in its depth, but wasted their time at laughing at each other. I have heard so many people who ridicule others making mistakes in their English.

As a lover of English, I have decided to leave Indian English (if I can call it Inglish) and am trying to learn the language in its depth. There is no Indian state which I have found speaking English well. Though Keralites are the most laughed at, I feel that Manglish changes to Tanglish, Hinglish etc. as we travel through the states of India.  

I don't defend any state’s English as I am sure that there's nothing called ‘Malayalam English, Tamil English or Hindi English' in India. Listen to the natives of the land of English. Only then each one will understand what English is and how to speak it. I am going to learn UK English as I am not so happy about my diction. I don't want anyone to laugh at my Manglish and I don't want to learn Inglish as no native speaker will certify it as English. At the end of my venture, when I pronounce words in UK English, people will laugh even more as they will stone me for acting like English.

A non-native speaker, the influence of their mother tongue is allowed but mispronunciation is not. It is great to have a good accent, but it isn't fair to laugh at someone's accent. I challenge those who laugh at me 'Laugh at me if you think that your pronunciation and accent are perfect.' We may think that we are better than others or that we are the best. The fact remains the same: All Indians speak Indian Inglish!!!