The sky is the limit, for a few fortunate!!

“What language is thine, O sea?”

“The language of eternal question.”

“What language is thy answer, O sky?”

“The language of eternal silence.”

          Rabindranath Tagore (Stray Birds)

I wonder what you would've felt when you wrote these words, Tagore!

But I know what I feel right now as I agree to your words, gently.

When the sea of life roars and beats against the rocks and returns,

It knows its limit is a few metres from the shore.

When its fury can kill many and even swallow some land,

It knows it has to go back and settle in its place.

The sea strives to be, but it seems like a performance!

Its waves and tides are sites that others watch.

Life of the sea looks like a dance of water!

So does an average life on earth, a drama to the human eye!

Limits! Limits! Limits! All doors closed!

There you stand! Not a step forward!

Injustice! You cry! Salt water mingles with salt water,

Your tears don’t change anything anywhere!

The clouds will pass, the rain will fall,

And you’ll watch it all from below.

Life of the affluent, powerful, and intellects

Will shine above you like stars.

You’ll rise in rage when moon pulls you

And burn in heat when sun hits you.

Everything has the power to affect you

Still you have to be, you have to bear!

You never have a rainbow, never an array of colours

You just have to live in the borrowed colours that you ought to reflect.

Your looks are not for you to create

It has to change with the tones of the sky!

But then, O sea, it is the story of your troubled waters atop,

Beneath, you store a mysterious world of baffling magic.

Years and years of all that you went through

Have turned to precious incomparable rare treasures.

Amber, Coral and Pearl and much more

Are formed in your heart as a reward for all that you endure.

Nothing much can be changed in your life,

Yet, look within your wondrous self, when you cannot reach the sky!

Sky is not the limit for everyone. I've seen in this life that the upward journey is mostly decided by the number of blocks that a person has to cross on his way. Remembering the lives of many unfortunate people who never could live their dreams due to their situations and circumstances, yet inspiring everyone to value their lives and strive to take the next step in faith and gratitude to God, I post this blog...Sindhu

My Papa, My Champion!

                  For the past three days I was just anxiously waiting for my Papa to finish through his events in the 17th Asian Masters' Athletic Championship, being held at Taipei. I feel like running to any mountain top and to shout that my Papa won 3 Gold Medals in the meet, for 80 metres and 200 metres hurdles and steeplechase (2000 metres), respectively. 

        

         At the age of 83, he still runs and jumps over the hurdles and brings home medals and certificates. I was a school kid when Papa started participating in Masters' Athletics (for 40+ men and 35+ women). No one else but Papa was interested in athletics in our family. Papa used to go regularly for the District level, State level and National level meets and he won many prizes. 

        

         As a child, he had to climb up and down many hills, running and crossing many hurdles to go to school. Like many of the athletes of Kerala, the first practice sessions were done through this running and jumping. The only practice he ever had for long jump was his daily jumping across a stream that he had to cross while going to school. Unfortunately he didn't reach the Olympics as no one was there to train him up. But out of his own interest he participated in every meet in School and College levels. In addition, he was in both football and basketball teams.

        

         Till he retired from his teaching job, his day consisted of his job at school, work in our plot and sports practice. I still remember him exercising in the evening in our courtyard. He used to fix two wooden sticks as poles and after carefully measuring the height, would tie a cord connecting both, to make it a hurdle to jump over. The space was so limited, just enough to run and jump once. The practice would become rigorous as the date approaches for the meets, and the venue would be the nearby college stadium. 

        

         After retirement he was fully engaged in agriculture. No amount of tiring work or sickness could defeat his spirit and he ran every year, in every meet. Last year he completed 60 years in hurdles, a rare achievement in the field of athletics.

        

         He caught our attention and admiration as he grew old, when we were worried about his age and health. It was a few years back that my mom and my family accompanied him to the stadium for a National meet. We were so thrilled to see Papa running in full speed. Suddenly he missed his step, he fell down, but before we could worry, he jumped up and ran forward overtaking his opponents to win the gold! 

        

         When I went last week to wish him before he left for Taipei, he looked so tired after the recent fever he had. My only concern and prayer was his safe homecoming. He sounded like a kid when he called after winning his first gold and he told that he is sure to win the next. He did. Third day was the steeplechase, a 2000-metres race crossing water, hurdles, etc.  When I told him that he should stop when and if he feels tired, he laughed and told me, "it's nothing, I will do it easily". Yes, he was right. He won his third gold this morning as he finished it.

        

         As a child, I would check the next day's newspaper to see if my Papa's photo was published. Never he came in news as he was an ordinary person. I used to get angry when I saw pictures of influential people who won second or third places, printed big with captions. Years later he came in small pictures and last year one of his old students wrote an article about him in Malayala Manorama Newspaper. 

         People like my Papa make their way to the victory stand by their own efforts and means. They pay for their travel and stay, wherever they go. The old and the weak still run with their eyes fixed on the finishing line, not on fame. No distance can stop them from running; no hurdle can hinder their determination.

         My Papa will be back to his routine life as soon as he comes back from Taipei. A few associations and institutions of our village will honour him. He will humbly continue his life as if nothing great ever happened.

                 

         I am so proud to know that the 80+ age group World Record for 80 metres and 200 metres hurdles are held by my Papa. He is one of the oldest people in the world who participate in hurdles race. 

        

         After all these years, I have lost interest in seeing my Papa's photos and news in a big column in any newspaper or in any TV channel. Now all I pray is that he must be healthy and strong and be granted a visa to go for the World meet in Brazil, without hurdles. (Papa and other athletes from Kerala didn't get their Visa to go to Europe for their 2007 World meet.) 

         My hearty congratulations to all the elderly people who went to Taipei and participated and won medals for their respective events. I appreciate and salute your spirit that leads you to distant places and strengthens you to finish your events. Most of all, I admire your focus and goal towards your purpose, without expecting to be in the limelight or being applauded in public.

         Thanks to the Senior Citizens' and Pensioners' associations and the Sports associations which encourage and support these people and their talents. I pray that God may provide Papa enough strength to run the race of life and on the way to cross the hurdles and win the prizes till the end.

His proud daughter.

My God

God is not someone I saw, God is the one I knew

God is not someone who kept me from falling; God is the one who made me get up when I fell

God is the manna of my desert and the brook in the rock

God is the one who held me in my brokenness and who heard me when I called.

God is my peace in loneliness and my happiness in nothingness

God is my light in the darkness and my love in adversity

God is not someone who gave me plenty; God is the one who created in me a grateful heart

God is not someone who fulfilled my desires; God is the one who liberated me from desires

God is the stillness in my silence and the compassion in my tears

God didn't answer my questions, but God was my answer always in everything

God is the smile in my despair; God is the Companion in my prison

God is my shade in the burning sun; God is my boat in deep waters

God is my strength when I sink deep; the God is my shore in the mid-sea

God is my owner when I am nil; He is the address when I am disgraced

God is the one who comes near when I say I have no one

God is my treasure when I cry that I have nothing

God is my heart's fulfilment in times of barrenness

God is the essence of my life when the meaning of life is lost

God is the holiness that cleanses me when I'm filled with wickedness

God is my strength that stands by me in pits and flames

God is the shepherd who looks for me when lost; God is the one who welcomes me forever

God is my salvation in deadly poison and in dreadful horror

God is the love without reason, God is the unending mercy

God is my refuge in cold; God is my shade in heat

God is the sight of the blind and the hearing of the deaf

God is the path of the lame and hope of the humble

God is the asylum of the sinner and the sanctuary of the oppressed

God is the one who transforms my curses into blessings and my needs into plenty

God is my guide and my way, God is the voice that is heard when I call

God is everything when I have no one; God is the one who doesn't forget me even if I do

God is the truth that I search; God is the life that I live

God is the one who cares for me always; God is the one who protects me always

God is not someone who I can portray in my words; God is the one who cannot be contained in my words

God is the greatness which I cannot understand; God is my Creator who understood me

God is my key to the closed doors; God is the one who opens invisible paths for me

God is the treasure who I can say is mine; God is the Friend who made me His own.

God is the wisdom of the ignorant; God is the tower of the feeble

God is the one who teaches me to pray, God is the one who receives my prayer

God is the one who reads my mind in times of defeat, hardships, and heartbreaks

God is the one who made me out of nothing; God is the one who told me not to be afraid

God is the one who stands with me till the end, God is the one who takes me home at the end

God is the one who is beyond my words, God is the Great Love who never changes His words to me.

എന്‍റെ ദൈവം

ഞാന്‍ കണ്ടതല്ല ദൈവം, ഞാന്‍ അറിഞ്ഞതാണു ദൈവം

എന്നെ വീഴാതെ നിര്‍ത്തിയവനല്ല ദൈവം, വീണ എന്നെ എഴുന്നേല്‍പ്പിച്ചവനാണു ദൈവം 
എന്‍റെ മരുഭൂമിയിലെ മന്നായും, പാറയിലെ നീരുരുവയുമാണു  ദൈവം 

എന്നെ തകര്‍ച്ചയില്‍ താങ്ങിയവനും, ഞാന്‍ വിളിച്ചപ്പോള്‍ കേട്ടവനുമാണു ദൈവം

ഏകാന്തതയിലെന്‍റെ സമാധാനവും, ഇല്ലായ്മയിലെന്‍റെ സന്തോഷവുമാണു ദൈവം 

കൂരിരുട്ടിലെന്‍റെ വെളിച്ചവും, ക്രൂരതയിലെന്‍റെ സ്നേഹവുമാണു ദൈവം 

എനിക്കൊരുപാടു തന്നവനല്ല  ദൈവം, നന്ദിയുള്ള  ഹൃദയം എന്നില്‍ തന്നവനാണു ദൈവം
എന്നെ തൃപ്തിപ്പെടുത്തിയവനല്ല ദൈവം,  ഇഷ്ട്ടങ്ങളില്‍ നിന്നും എന്നെ വിടുവിച്ചവനാണു ദൈവം 

എന്‍റെ നിശബ്ദതയില്‍  ശാന്തതയും,  എന്‍റെ കണ്ണുനീരില്‍ കാരുണ്യവുമാണു   ദൈവം

എന്‍റെ ചോദ്യങ്ങള്‍ക്കുത്തരം പറഞ്ഞില്ല  ദൈവം, എന്നും എല്ലാത്തിനും എനിക്കുത്തരമായവനാണു ദൈവം 

എന്‍റെ നിരാശയിലെ  ചിരിയാണു  ദൈവം,  എന്‍റെ കാരഗ്രഹതിലെ കൂട്ടാണു  ദൈവം 

ഉച്ചവെയിലില്‍  എന്‍റെ നിഴലാണു  ദൈവം,  പെരുംവെള്ളത്തില്‍ എന്‍റെ തോണിയാണു ദൈവം 

മുങ്ങിത്താഴുമ്പോള്‍ എന്‍റെ ബലമാണു ദൈവം, നടുക്കടലില്‍   എന്‍റെ കരയാണു ദൈവം 

വിലയില്ലാത്തപ്പോള്‍   എന്‍റെ ഉടമസ്ഥനാണു ദൈവം, നിന്ദയില്‍ എന്‍റെ മേലവിലാസമാണു ദൈവം 

ആരുമില്ലെന്നു ഞാന്‍  പറയുമ്പോള്‍  എന്‍റെ അരുകില്‍ വരും  ആളാണു ദൈവം 

ഒന്നുമില്ലെനിക്കെന്നു വിലപിക്കുമ്പോള്‍  എന്‍റെ സ്വത്താകും ദൈവം  

ഞാന്‍ ശൂന്യമാകുന്ന സമയത്തു മനസ്സിന്‍റെ  നിറവാണു  ദൈവം 

അര്‍ഥമില്ലാത്ത  നേരത്തെന്‍ ജീവന്‍റെ അന്ത സത്തയാണു  ദൈവം 

ഞാന്‍ തിന്മയാല്‍  നിറയുമ്പോള്‍ എന്നെ വെടിപ്പാക്കുന്ന വിശുദ്ധിയാണു ദൈവം 

ആഴത്തിലും  പിന്നെ  ആഴിയിലും  കൂടെ നില്‍ക്കുന്ന  എന്‍റെ ശക്തിയാണു  ദൈവം 

 

കാണാതെപോകുമ്പോള്‍ എന്നെ തേടുന്ന  ഇടയനും,  എന്നെ സ്വീകരിപ്പാന്‍  മനസ്സുള്ളവനും ദൈവം

കൊടും വിഷത്തിലും, ഖോര  ഭീകരതയിലും, എന്‍റെ രക്ഷയാണു ദൈവം 

കാരണമില്ലാത്ത സ്നേഹമാണു ദൈവം,  നിലയ്ക്കാത്ത  കരുണയാണു ദൈവം 

തണുപ്പില്‍  എന്‍റെ അഭയവും,  ചൂടില്‍ എന്‍റെ തണലുമാണു ദൈവം 

 
കുരുടന്‍റെ കാഴ്ചയും,  ചെകിടന്‍റെ  കേള്‍വിയുമാണു  ദൈവം 

മുടന്തന്‍റെ  പാതയും, എളിയവന്‍റെ  പ്രത്യാശയുമാണു ദൈവം 

പാപിയുടെ  ശരണവും, പീഡിതന്‍റെ സങ്കേതവുമാണു  ദൈവം 

എന്‍റെ തിന്മയെ  നന്മയാക്കുന്നവനും,  എന്‍റെ കുറവിനെ  നിറവാക്കുന്നവനുമാണു  ദൈവം 

എന്‍റെ വഴികാട്ടിയും  വഴിയുമാണു  ദൈവം, ഞാന്‍ വിളിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ കേള്‍ക്കുന്ന  ശബ്ദമാണു  ദൈവം 

എനിക്കാരുമില്ലാത്തപ്പോള്‍ എല്ലാമാണു  ദൈവം,  ഞാന്‍  മറന്നാലും എന്നെ മറക്കാത്തവനാണു ദൈവം 

ഞാന്‍  അന്വേഷിക്കും സത്യമാണു ദൈവം,  ഞാന്‍  ജീവിക്കും  ജീവനാണു  ദൈവം 

എനിക്കുവേണ്ടി സദാ കരുതുന്നവനാണു  ദൈവം, എന്നെ സദാ പരിപാലിക്കുന്നവനാണു ദൈവം 

എന്‍റെ വാക്കുകളാല്‍ വര്‍ണിക്കാന്‍  കഴിയുന്നവനല്ല  ദൈവം, എന്‍റെ  വാക്കുകളില്‍ ഒതുങ്ങാത്തവനാണു ദൈവം 

എനിക്കുള്‍ക്കൊള്ളാന്‍  പറ്റാത്ത മഹത്വമാണു  ദൈവം,  എന്നെ  ഉള്‍ക്കൊണ്ട  എന്‍റെ സൃഷ്ടാവാണു  ദൈവം 

അടഞ്ഞ വാതിലുകളില്‍ എന്‍റെ താക്കോലാണു ദൈവം, കാണാത്ത വഴികള്‍ എനിക്കു തുറക്കുന്നവനാണു ദൈവം 

എന്‍റെ  സ്വന്തമെന്നു  പറയാവുന്ന  നിധിയാണു ദൈവം , എന്നെ  സ്വന്തമാക്കിയ എന്‍റെ സഖിയാണു ദൈവം 

അജ്ഞ്ഞരുടെ  ജ്ഞാനമാണു  ദൈവം,  നിരാലംബരുടെ  കോട്ടയാണു  ദൈവം 

എന്നെ പ്രാര്‍ഥന  പഠിപ്പിക്കുന്നവന്‍  ദൈവം, എന്‍റെ പ്രാര്‍ഥന  കൈക്കൊള്ളുന്നവന്‍  ദൈവം 

തോല്‍‌വിയില്‍, പ്രയാസങ്ങളില്‍,  മനം  നീറുന്ന  നേരത്തില്‍, എന്‍റെ ഹൃദയം വായിക്കുന്നവന്‍ ദൈവം 

ഒന്നുമില്ലായ്കയില്‍   നിന്നെന്നെ മെനഞ്ഞവന്‍  ദൈവം, ഒന്നും ഭയപ്പെടേണ്ടെന്നെന്നോടു പറഞ്ഞവന്‍ ദൈവം 

അവസാനത്തോളം എന്‍റെ കൂടെ നില്‍ക്കുന്നതും ദൈവം, അവസാനം എന്നെ വീട്ടില്‍ കൂട്ടിക്കൊണ്ടുപോകുന്നതും ദൈവം

എന്‍റെ വാക്കുകള്‍ക്കതീതമായവന്‍  ദൈവം  എന്നോടു വാക്കു മാറ്റാത്ത  മഹത്സ്നേഹവും സ്നേഹവും  ദൈവം 

Seeing is believing? Just believe what you see ! It’s a kind of magic!!

Do you see the mountains and sea and sky or more?

See whatever you want to see and enjoy!

Do you see the white waves in the blue sea?

     During his lonely walk in Leh mountain top, my husband took these pics! The best gift he brought home!

      The flight took off from Chennai by 2 15 pm. I was on my way to Mumbai. I just had to spend less than 2 hours before I reach my destination. Too tired to take my lap top, too sleepy to read a book, I simply started staring through the window.

      The same thing as always...houses, buildings, roads...within a few seconds everything looked small and I realised that I was in an airplane flying on the air.

      Soon the things on the ground were out of sight and the flight went up to the clouds. I still continued looking through the windows. After few seconds, the blue and white clouds formed the pattern of a roaring sea..where blue looked like water and white like the waves. I felt so happy and excited looking at my self-made reality and it didn’t look like anything other than the sea which brings its waves towards me. The airplane that I travelled became a boat and I enjoyed my boat ride on the sea. It was a long boat ride along the water.

      Later on, the sea was no more there. There were only white clouds around me..huge...and I missed my boat ride and the waves and the sea...I was lost in a place called nowhere and I didn’t know what to do.

      There I realised the next thing. All these clouds that I see around turned to snow covered mountains. Another reality, my own, my world. My airplane changed to an air conditioned double decker bus and it moved by the side of snow mountains. And from the top deck window seat, what did I see? Alps? Himalayas? I could see mountains, valleys...snow..so beautiful.

      As I went on, I could see the top of each snow heap, big and small and I understood that I am travelling in my dreams. From top, they looked like undersea corals. They were gigantic and pure white and I moved on without touching them, but they touching my heart and spirit.

      Then the strangest thing happened. I found me again back in the upper deck of the AC bus, then after a few minutes, I was in my boat. As it moved forward, I saw houses, buildings, bleu tarpaulin covered huts of Mumbai slums, and I found myself above them. I was flying once again in the airplane! And soon I heard a thud as it landed on the ground and as it ran on the runway, I was still wondering about this miraculous reality that was mine for some time. Within an hour and 45 minutes, I saw in my imaginary reality, the Creation of God, from another point of view, making it a magical world for me.

      On the way to Mumbai from Chennai, I saw many places, travelled through many worlds.

      Along with the exquisite tour that I had with my Creator, He also left a big Spiritual lesson in my heart. I have the ability and possibility of making reality into imagination and imagination into reality. All that I see may not be real and what looks real to me may be is just the way I see it. It is up to me to see it the way I want around me and to take it in any way that I like. And if I really want to see, I can see magic and God in everything around and enjoy my journey.

      I pray to God that I must walk my path of life, enjoying every moment of it, seeing in everything something that will excite me and make me happy and think of my Creator, making something very ordinary, to an extra ordinary sight in my eyes. Thank you Lord Almighty for adding some miraculous, mysterious, magical moments to my life!

With love, your teacher...

I don't claim to be a good teacher. More than my merits, I see my errors. I admit the fact..the most difficult task is parenting and teaching..yet, the most beautiful moments belong to parents and teachers who have eyes to see the innocence and need of a kid.

On teachers’ day, this is what I want to tell my students. In class, I would’ve told you a thousand things which I never really meant. And there is only one thing that I ever meant to say. I love and value each one of you, whoever you are and if I haven’t ever expressed that it is my mistake. I love you all for the innocence that bonds us again and again like a web broken and woven over and over again.

Did I say that I will find something better in life than teaching? May or may not be. But it is never as a student, but as a teacher that I learned many things in classroom. Only innocence can make you see some good in me and I am so grateful to my kids for teaching me the power of innocence.

Thanks for the moments of joy and sorry for the firm correction sessions! Smiles and frowns make AV room original!

Thanks for every effort that you took to make Teachers’ day, a special day for us. Everything and everyone matter. Thank you so much children. God bless you..With love, your teacher..

Lost A Game, Won A Battle!

It was just another ordinary day at school. Afternoon ambience changed when Teachers’ Day games competition started. With kids cheering their teachers to victory made the campus sound like a roaring ocean.

From my seat I could see the Badminton doubles competition. More than the teachers in action I loved to see and hear the enthusiastic kids around the court. Though they tried a few days back their best and failed to make me and the other teachers on my table join the competition, tirelessly they called us again from down “please come ma’am..” We told them..”next year..”. They were not going to leave us..SPL came up once again with the request and by that time, my friend and I, we had decided to ‘play the fool’ for the kids to enjoy.

Playing after more than ten years, we had forgotten all the rules and there wasn’t time left to learn them. So, there we stood, ready for the game.

It took us some time to realise that we are leading and after some time we even knew that we had won the match! That didn’t end there. We played and played and won our way to the finals after winning three matches!

I don’t want to hold the surprise from you. No. We didn’t win the match. Though we got some good points, we lost it against our strong opponents. What a bad feeling to disappoint our supporters! Yet we were treated like heroes and I have no words to explain the magnanimity of children to run and come and shake hands and say “ma’am, you played so well!!”

Climbing up the steps we looked at each other in disbelief and thanked God that we could do so much without any preparation at all and that still we were not too tired.

I thought of the days where we used to play Badminton every evening as a family. I had to completely stop playing after being diagnosed for a disc prolapse in the lower back and neck. When I was on the edge of paralysis and when I lived with partial numbness on my feet and then down the knee, I used to pray to God that His Grace should make me walk. The painful years made me lose interest in all activities and I settled down for a slow paced life without much events. I resigned my job and remained at home, finding it difficult even to manage each day’s demands.

That is when we shifted to Salem and I joined Cluny as a part time teacher, with permission to sit down and teach! My old students may remember how I used to miss my steps and stumbled while taking class making the kids wonder if I’ll fall or not. I still remember kids giving me a chocolate when my BP dropped suddenly. With multiple problems I managed my classes with the understanding and cooperation of my students.

I walked with those numb legs, pleading for His Grace in each step. The second floor was Calvary that I climbed every day in pain and prayer. To add to my many falls, I continued falling, hitting my back badly on the floor for four more times, making it eleven falls totally!!

Two years back, it was on September 4^th that I got healed during a healing prayer session conducted at school. From that time till today there is no trace of any pain on my neck or my back. Though healed completely, I never restarted many things that I stopped doing before. Many years of inactivity continued made me feel like a handicap who is scared to venture into anything that involvs a risk. I imagined that my back pain waits at my back like a ghost who can come back to life, if I make a mistake!

Yesterday changed it all. That was the day where my doubts and my fears vanished. The ghost ran off hearing the innocent cheer and screams of kids. 

After playing continuously the games I realised that I am just totally normal as I was before. Nothing seemed wrong, moreover, everything seemed very much right!

My kids, if not for your call I wouldn’t have even thought of a game. If not to make you happy I wouldn’t have played. If not for your cheer, I wouldn’t have made it to the finals.

St Augustine says that it is in giving that we receive. I gave you few minutes of happiness and thrill. But I received myself back.

Thanks a million, my kidoos..I love you all for dragging me to the court with your love and surrounding me with your love. What I achieved yesterday is only because of you, and I thank you all from my heart.

On Teachers’ Day, I will receive the prize for the runner up. I can already hear your cheer. When you see me on the stage, please remember that I was a person who could hardly walk and please praise and glorify the Almighty Ever-living Ever-loving God who made me run again.

Thank God, thank you, my beloved kids of Cluny. May God bless you always and make you grow in His Wisdom and Love...

I might have lost the game..but I conquered the demon and won the battle!! Sindhu